Discover your Values, the fire inside 🔥
🧩 The Wanderer Newsletter #06
Hello there!
I’m Nico, in The Wanderer newsletter I share some learnings & experiences lived along the way of building a tech company and meeting great people. It does not constitute in any manner universal truths, far from it, but more methods, ideas & thought-processes that can broaden your own perspectives when approaching your day-to-day challenges, help you advance on your goals and live a better life.
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Check out previous posts of ‘Know Thyself’ series
Unmotivated? Un-inspired? Cannot get up in the morning? These feelings may sound too familiar.
In this third and final episode of the ‘Know Thyself’ series we explore what I believe can help us wake up inspired everyday: finding our Why, discovering our Values to unleash the fire we have inside.
Happily for us philosophers, scientists & psychology experts have been studying this question for centuries. They captured how the unconscious mind (values, beliefs, mental frames) rules the conscious mind (our actions, feelings & behaviors). Putting words on key concepts and developing tools to help us on this internal journey.
Today we cover:
What values are and the power of intrinsic motivation
The impact of living aligned with your values
Practical questions to discover our personal values
The Motivators langage
A library of resources to go further on this topic
Discover your Values, the fire inside. 🔥
Your personal Values are what is important for you in life. A synonym would be Motivators. Because when you live or take actions aligned with your internal values you feel intrinsically motivated. Inspired. You unlock the fire inside. What are they? There are two types: Injected Values and Natural Values.
Injected Values: transmitted to you by those who raised you: your parents, your family.
Natural Values: forged in good and tough life experiences of your childhood. They express your unicity as a human being. They are what makes you, you, someone different from your siblings and your childhood community.
Intrinsic motivation over external rewards 💪
If knowing my values is so important in the construction of who we are, why are we often starting this internal journey of self-discovery late in life? (in my case not before my mid-twenties). Why? Because the system around is not designed to push us on this path. Since a young age, in our modern society, we are trained to seek external reward, external validation.
A good grade, the recognition of our family, our peers, our teachers. In our professional life, the recognition of our boss, a promotion, a salary raise, a social status. A mixture of carrot 🥕 and stick 🏏. These are the tools used by our modern society to keep us in delivery mode. Without asking questions.
We’ve all experienced the consequence: instant and short-term feelings of satisfaction. Pleasure. Quickly replaced by a void as we start looking for what’s next.
It’s time it changes. There’s a need in our modern age for human beings (including modern workers) to replace this cocktail of external rewards by the deep experience of intrinsic motivation. Getting there takes work. It takes time. But unlocks joy instead of pleasure. A long-lasting feeling of fulfillment instead of instant gratification.
How to start this journey? People like Professor John Demartini point us in a direction: living a life aligned with our very own personal values. In our personal as in professional life.
Practical questions to discover our values 👋
Now that we’re aware of the importance of our Values the next step is to start finding them. Don’t stress over the result, the process of research is what matters. If you start looking for them, they will appear gradually. This is a work you can do multiple times a year, on your own, and also sharing your early intuitions with those that know you well.
Here is a list of questions and actions to start:
What are the 3 things I always find energy for? What energizes me the most? 👉 You will always have energy for things that are truly highest on your values list and that inspire you.
Where are you most reliable, disciplined and focused? What are the 3 things you are most reliable on?
👉 Whatever is highest in your list you will be disciplined to do.
Whats inspires you most and what is common to the people that inspire you most?
👉 Qualities you attribute (rightly or not) to people you look up to are likely to be qualities and values you’d like to express yourself.
On the contrary, what drives you down? What do you procrastinate?
Once you have your values, your internal mapping, you can start adjusting your life accordingly and experience inspiration and intrinsic motivation.
Small changes can make big impact here. The Wheel of Life is an easy tool that can help you in this process of adjusting your life progressively. 👀
Motivators, a useful map to understand yourself & others 🧭
Imagine if you could through the observations of your emotions, behaviors and actions better infer the invisible - which are your values. Well this is the interest of the Motivators framework.
The primary reason behind learning the language of Motivators is indeed to delve into our own unconscious brain and that of other people in order for us to understand them better. Pragmatically, it can help you understand by what you’re motivated, or unmotivated in your current situation. And build a route to a happier life 👌!
- credits to @LV for the illustration! 🙏
Below you can find the different types of Motivators 👀
🟢 Aesthetic - a drive & need for balance and harmony.
🔵 Economic - a need for practical results and return on investment.
🟠 Individualistic - a drive to standout as independent, unique, for our own identity.
🔴 Power - a drive to be in control or have influence.
🟡 Altruistic - a drive & need to help others at the expense of self.
⚫️ Regulatory - a need for structure, a drive to establish order, routine & structure.
🟤 Theoretical - a drive for knowledge, learning and understanding.
👉 Two of my main motivators are Knowledge & Power. I know I’m likely to feel great when I can control outcomes, circumstances or influence goals & directions. I’m feeling great if I acquire knowledge, insights and progress on the discovery of “Truth” (whatever this may mean). But likely to feel stressed and demotivated when I’m not learning or progressing.
Working with a professional coach here is a must but below you can find questions to help you identify the main motivators for yourself & others:
What are the most important values that I’ve learnt from my parents (injected values)?
What are the most important values that differentiates me from my siblings (natural values)?
To keep on advancing on this journey you can also:
Pay attention to the goals you or others strive for:
👉 is it a quest of harmony? financial success? recognition from others because they helped?
Listen to the arguments you or others use:
👉 am I always relying on knowledge? am I coming back to the result of our discussion ‘ok but what’s the next step?’ which demonstrates a need for practical results.
Observe the type of job roles they choose within a team or organisation:
👉 people in HR are likely to have a strong Altruistic motivator, a designer, an architect, an artist will be high on Aesthetic. You can see that if your job type does not fit your motivator you will be unhappy.
I meet so many people asking themselves these same questions, looking to find their way, questioning our society, economic system & even their personal day-to-day priorities. These conversations are always nourishing (thanks @Pierre V & @Guillaume L.). I hope these resources can help others along this dizzy journey ✌️.
To go further in your Quest for purpose 🗺
If you want to go deeper in this journey here is a place to start.
Our society urge for external rewards: the puzzle of motivation (TEDx). 👀
Sir John Whitmore on the spirit of coaching, self-actualization, having the courage to make changes, rejecting hierarchy, how to take responsibility for our lives. 👀
About self-compassion & self-comparaison and why we should stop keeping score by Kristin Neff (TEDx) 👀
I could do anything if I only knew what it was, by Barbara Sher 📚
Designing your Life: how to build a well-lived, joyful life 📚
Dr John Demartini, how to unleash your full potential in Unstoppable podcast 🔉
An introduction to ‘Ego development Theory’ - the 9 stages of Ego.
Your self Saboteurs - 50 questions based on the work of Shirzad Chamine to discover what’s holding us back. 👌
When the voice on the inside is more important than what is on the outside you can start mastering your life.
My inspire weekly selection 🔥
🌐 Online - Scaling with process vs. people or how to keep your Modjo as you grow
📚 Book - Clayton Christensen, The Innovator's Dilemma, to understand how innovation happens
🗿 Wise quote - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, 'Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.'
🎵 Now playing - Romanthony, the wanderer
Climate 🌍
In this section I share what I’ve learned on the development of Climate science & market to contribute to our societal climate change problem. Feel free to share if you find anything interesting on this topic! 🙏
Quote: ‘Technology is not the answer, it’s the amplifier of intent, and climate tech alone is not panacea.’
On the recommandation of a friend (thanks Aurélien 👋) I’m currently reading Meadows - the limits to growth original edition. If you’re short on time you can also check out this 50min video (in 🇫🇷).
— Nico