How to Master your Communication style 🗣
🧩 The Wanderer Newsletter #04
Hello there!
I’m Nico, in The Wanderer newsletter I share some learnings & experiences lived along the way of building a tech company and meeting great people. It does not constitute in any manner universal truths, far from it, but more methods, ideas & thought-processes that can broaden your own perspectives when approaching your day-to-day challenges, help you advance on your goals and live a better life.
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In the ‘Know thyself’ series we elaborate on the importance of understanding what drives us, discovering and putting words on our personal values, mastering our energy tanks. Today in this second episode we discuss how to awaken ourselves on different communication styles and mastering our own. 🗣
Every time I’ve witnessed or was inspired by people doing great things this was most often because they had themselves progressed on this journey.
On the menu today, we present a practical tool to understand communication styles, personality traits, needs and behaviors under stress. Let’s dive in!
🗣 DISC, a simple & practical tool
Communication tools & frameworks are by essence restrictive and difficult to use on a self-service mode. I recommend if you can to leverage your HR Department support, or the help of people (like professional Coaches) that are certified on the usage of these tools if you want a thorough explanation.
Still these frameworks can help us increase our self-awareness and hence help us progress on our learning journey. They bring a common langage and dictionary to understand and describe known behaviors.
DISC is a very common tool used in thousands of organizations around the world, from governments to public companies, non profits & small businesses. It helps (1) understand our favorite modes of communication, (2) understand others’ modes of communication.
👉 Here is a link to a DISC Assessment platform where you can pass the test, recommended by a seasoned HR professional I know.
It helped me personally become aware of the styles I’m more incline to adapt either speaking to someone or on the receiving hand in a conversation. Here is my profile:
When I got the result I have to say I recognized myself in the description! Knowing what behaviors go with a given style, being able to recognize its specific needs is very useful.
👋 Every style comes with different personality traits
Knowing the traits that go with different style is fundamental. It helps in their identification, as understanding other people you’re working with and knowing yourself better.
🔴 Dominance type: is likely to be more assertive, results focused, to take rapid decisions, seek challenges, and express a desire to lead.
🟡 Influence type: outgoing & persuasive, very people oriented, quite optimistic outlook, strong communication skills, likes to have variety in the day.
🟢 Steadiness type: patient, favors stability and structure. Likes to operate at a steady, even pace. Strong team player.
🔵 Conscientious/Structure type: Data, fact & analysis based. Precise & accurate. Trust the value of structure, standards & order. See the value of rules.
The words people use and their behaviors are likely to tell you a lot on their way of communicating. Here are also some lessons I got to value with time:
Takeaway 1️⃣ Working with similar communication profiles is easy.
As you’re both demonstrating the same profile you will be in a natural communication mode. Working with someone that has no common dimension will require more openness of mind and effort.
Takeaway 2️⃣ A diverse team is way better than a mono-profile team.
Not having the same communication style as someone else can create biases. Especially when collaborating or hiring. Not having the same profile does not mean the other person does not bring value on the table. On the contrary. They come up with different perspectives, different angles. For example I know I need people around me that are more likely to push for precise planning & facts vs. acting on intuition. This will create a better decision-making process & more value in the long term.
👀 Every style comes with different needs
Now that we understand the behaviors that go with a style we also understand their needs. Different people call for different ways of communicating. This is super useful when preparing to enter a meeting with a teammate, preparing a customer call (presenting the information the way they’re more likely to digest it). Or even preparing a speech in front of a crowd!
This is fascinating to see for politics speeches. They seek to resonate with the whole population. And in order to do so the best ones will seek to pronounce words that resonate with different sensitivities:
use Numbers for Blue people
use Action verbs for Red people
use words around care, human relationship, humor for Yellow people
….and seek to explain their structured approach & their well-thought method to resonate with Green people.
It’s a fun exercice to try to identify it when you hear one on the radio. 📻
👉 On this platform (under ‘explore’ button) you’ll be able to learn more on the different needs, and maybe find yourself while doing it.
My main takeaway from these Needs is the importance of meeting other people halfway. Spending a bit of your Energy in order to position your words in a manner that fits how they digest it. This creates more harmony and more efficient working relationships.
🎭 When under stress, every style will wear a different Mask
For every style we can identify default behaviors & emotions under stress. It’s called a Mask. Different profiles expresses their stress in different manners - wearing a different Mask. Being aware of these masks enables us to know if the person is feeling light or heavy stress. Here are typical reactions:
🔴 Dominance type: Will feel impatience, anger and lack of control. As a consequence will try to over-control or go on crusade against others.
🟡 Influence type: Will feel left out, will express a need for social approval. In more advanced stress mode will focus more on feelings, be overly optimistic or gossip.
🟢 Steadiness type: Will compromise, forget to express his/her needs to favor others. Be passive and distant.
🔵 Conscientious/Structure type: Will overpower through too many facts. Relying solely on logic.
By knowing them you can start looking in your own reactions, to understand if you’re in your normal state or under stress. Getting out of your body to look at yourself with an external eye 👀, and seeing if you’re bringing the energy 🔋 down around you, or bringing constructive inputs to a conversation.
Once you become aware of your reaction, through working on your Energy tanks, you can come back to your normal state. And help relieve others from stress by adjusting how you’re communicating. Observation, working on energy tanks, discipline can amplify your effectiveness and make you a pleasant person to work with.
I believe so many judgements, misunderstandings, frustration could be avoided if every one was using this simple discipline at work.
My inspire weekly selection 🔥
I’m adding this section where I share what I’m reading or listening to nurture my inspiration.
🌐 Online - Product-market fit in different capital environments
📚 Book - Small Giants, companies that chose to be great instead of big
🗿 Wise quote - “Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening”, Larry King.
🎵 Now playing... Daft Punk - Touch
— Nico
Love the inspiration weekly part!